Young & Afraid & It's Okay.

Aubrey Nicole Photography

If you had told me ten years ago, let alone two months ago, that I would someday share my thoughts and feelings openly like this, I would've said you were lying. Depending on the topic or who I'm speaking with, I can be extremely private with my thoughts. Nine out of ten times I believe it keeps things peaceful and less complicated, even with some of my close friends or relatives. I started to write in a journal when I was 15 years old—I can’t tell you what specifically compelled me to start, I just remember one day picking up this old, beat up spiral notebook and decided to write about what was going on in my life and what I was thinking/feeling that day. After two entries, I remember feeling…free. Almost as if this weight I didn’t even know I had was being lifted and thrown away. Unpacking my thoughts on a sheet of paper has always helped me to move on with my life, because those thoughts that had been bothering me for days or weeks were placed somewhere else. So, ten years later, I have now filled six notebooks and started my seventh back in August. Many of those entries are extremely private, and things I would never share with anyone even if they paid me. However, as this year is nearing its end I feel there are many that I would share, and I have wanted to for a while. The main reason, is in hope that it might help someone else, whether they can relate or not. It may be you, or someone you know.

There is a great stigma around people my age: they should be married, have a house, a career, maybe one or two children. I have found that many individuals in their 20s to 30s have one or two of these things, but not all of them. Or, they may be like me, and have none of these things. You’re reading this blog post from someone who is 25 & single (with a cat) while the majority of her friends are in a relationship, has a job but no set career, and after seven years of living outside of the house had to move home with her parents due to financial and health reasons. Let me be clear though, I’m not saying this to put down those who are farther along in life, nor am I trying to put myself down or seek sympathy. I am saying this to give some perspective: I know for a fact that I am not the only person my age who feels behind, lost, or scared. I know there’s many like me out there—some are younger, some are older, and they’re just trying to discover who they are and what they want in this life. I’m here to tell you that IT’S OKAY, and to share not only my own stories, but voluntarily those of my loved ones as well. This is purely to help others feel like they aren’t alone and have the chance to keep moving, no matter what chapter of their life they may be in.

So, here I am, BLOGGING. I’ve become one of “those” people 😉 (hopefully in the best way). This is a place I now feel I can express myself freely about friendship, love, travel, mental illness, anxiety, loss….and share stories about struggles & experiences I have had and some of my loved ones have had. I anticipate that this blog will be a safe, relatable space. I want to encourage my friends and family—you are not alone, there are so many people that suffer and struggle with the same things that you do. Maybe, by sharing my heart and some of my stories, it will insight you to share some of your own. Life is tough, and there is a lot to learn, but the important thing is the sun will rise tomorrow and we will try again.